Am I Ugly? By Michelle Elman

Where to begin? This book is so inspirational! Michelle Elman has had quite the journey in her life, having gone through many surgeries before the age of 21. Spending a long time in the hospital at age 11, meant that Elman had to confront some very serious topics at a young age like our inevitable mortality. By reading this book you will inevitably relate to Elman in more ways than you think because every one of us has struggled with insecurities, especially whilst going through puberty. I can certainly relate to Elman’s encounters with mental health. Whilst she had PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder), I suffered from insomnia, which meant that I slept very little in my first year of university. On most nights I would get an average of about two to three hours sleep. I too did not realise that I needed to see a therapist until I was at breaking point where my nightmares had gotten so bad that I was afraid to fall asleep. I know this book or review is not about me, but I think that it is important to speak about these issues unapologetically and unashamedly. Also, this book made me reflect on my own life experiences, which is why I am referring to myself in this review. Our scars on the outside tell as much of a story as those on the inside; why should one be so controversial whilst the other so normal?

I also relate with the author because she had/has a dream to help others and to give back. Growing up I had always felt guilty for the privileges I had received as a child. I did not feel as though I deserved or earned my fortunate position as I saw that my friends and even family did not get to benefit from the same chances. Elman, on the other hand, was not as fortunate in the sense that her health had stopped her from living a carefree childhood, one that I was fortunate enough to have. However, somehow we both ended up questioning what did I do to deserve this? How can I be so lucky? Why me? Elman questioned why she deserved to remain alive, whilst children around her in the hospital did not get the same opportunity. This guilt complex of feeling as though you did not deserve to be in the position you are in inevitably feeds into this want to give back and share your good fortunes. Her words are familiar and warm, so much so that I felt like I was listening to a friend. Her story is filled with love and compassion and it truly took me on a journey that I didn’t think I needed anymore.

I wish that everyone would pick up this book, follow Elman (@scarrednotscared), and support her through her journey to changing the world, one person at a time. I wholeheartedly recommend this book as it will make you laugh, cry, smile, angry, sad and everything in between! I would like to also thank Michelle Elman for being so brave to write a story about her experiences in such a raw manner. To all those of you who have scars: be proud of them, love them and be kind to your body. To all those of you who don’t: do the same. Our bodies work so hard to keep us alive that the least we could do is appreciate them in all their wonder. Life is too short for us to let it be dictated by insecurities, self-loathing and fear.