What I Learnt From Being a Mum (Mamma) for Two Weeks

Firstly, I would like to make clear that I am not a mother at all. I have no children because I am still studying at university, I am 21 years old and quite frankly it wouldn’t be a great career move for me in this moment in time. For the past two weeks I have been taking care of my 12 year old sister as my mamma (she is Italian) had to be away for some time to sort out some family matters. Whilst she was away I essentially took on her role as the head of the household as my dad works long hours from Monday to Friday. I did EVERYTHING! I took my sister to school and back, fed her and the rest of my family every day, tidied up the whole house, laundry, etc…basically, the whole lot! In this blog I will list a few things I have learnt from being a housewife/stay-at-home mother:

1) It is not easy!To anyone who looks down on stay-at-home mothers for being lazy or for not doing enough is clearly ignorant to how hard it is. I too, was guilty of sometimes thinking this. These two weeks have taught me how you are on alert at ALL times, even when they are at school. The school hours tend to be even more jam-packed because you try to get everything possible done in those hours so that you can avoid doing them later with the kids because that would make doing those chores a million times harder. This was especially difficult because I had to balance out studying and doing the regular errands that my mamma would usually do.

2) It gets really lonely sometimes.This was the most unexpected result of the 2 week period, whilst being simultaneously the worst. I couldn’t organise anything with my friends so I had virtually no social life, unless they were willing to follow me around whilst I did my usual errands. However, usually everyone is busy at the times when I would be childless so I couldn’t even use school time to my advantage. All those hours home alone were pretty tough, even though I needed the silence to study. It was great for my concentration but because of my social nature I need some human contact every few hours or so! This is how I found out that I will definitely not be working from home once I graduate!

3) Sacrifice. I knew that motherhood required sacrifices, especially if you want a happy kid. I fully expected and knew the sacrifices that come with having a child (obviously not to its fullest extent), because I grew up inevitably taking care of my sister, even if my parents were around. I have always had this maternal and caring nature which meant that I would feel responsible even though I may not have been. However, once left alone with a kid then the responsibility QUADRUPLES! They now rely solely on you and that requires a whole lot of sacrifice.

4) Patience. You need endless amounts of patience, especially when you are both tired. Every time that they are tired, you have to compensate for that and be extra patient, which takes a lot of energy and strength. Sometimes it happened that she wouldn’t want to do her homework and just wanted to play, however, after a bit of patience (and discipline) we always managed to work it out. This small example seems pretty simple, but imagine having to do this a million times a day! I think it is especially important to be patient when they are going into their teenage years because they will inevitably test all the boundaries as they begin to discover who they are as people, what are their passions and desires, what they will be willing to fight for. It is so crucial to be patient because every action you do, your children (or siblings) will mimic it. Be who you want your children to grow up to be. If you hit them, they will hit back. If you shout at them, they will shout back. If you are patient with them, they will be patient also. It is so crucial to remember that your child will emulate you, so remember to act as if everything you do has consequences, because it does.

5) Cooking needs creativity when you’re doing it for a family of five!It was challenging to have to cater to another 4 persons needs every mealtime. You have to get creative so that the child will eat their vegetables (and hopefully not complain) but you also have to be creative to be able to meet everyone’s standards of food! My mamma is Italian and is also a great cook, which meant that the standards to uphold were high. At university, I usually cook for myself and sometimes I cook with friends, however, for the most part I eat what I want, when I want, where I want. However, with a family you have a schedule to keep up with and tastes that should (ideally) be respected. There were definitely moments of insecurity when you believe that whatever you muster up for them will never be good enough. I hate to disappoint! Besides, I don’t always remember everyone’s likes and dislikes which made it challenging especially in the supermarket when I was so lost on what to buy in the first place! I know this comes as second nature for mums, and I have come to really appreciate it.

Overall, mammas are incredible. You continue to be the rock of the family, supporting everyone through all their joys and miseries. You continue to inspire children all over the world and through your altruistic nature, you raise wonderful and selfless children. Your work often goes underappreciated and that is unacceptable.

To all you mums out there, you’re doing a great job. Keep doing your best and your children will thank you for it one day.

P.S. I know not all mothers are caring or kind and I appreciate that. Fortunately, I come from a position of privilege where my mamma is loving, so I don’t think I would be qualified to speak of other kinds of mammas and their ways of mothering. This post was to show the gratitude that we have for mothers all over the world who give up everything to give their children the most care and support possible.