Why I Went Vegan

My journey to veganism is rather unusual I believe. Most go vegan after watching documentaries like Conspiracy, What the Health, or The What led me to becoming vegan was, ultimately, being totally and unquestioningly immersed into a culture which encouraged and thrived off of diet culture. My beginnings stem from a world of insecurity and hatred, but it has now been transformed into one of compassion and happiness. I honestly have never regretted going vegan for one second. It could possibly be the only decision I have never second guessed.

So why did I go vegan?

My standard response is for health, which then quickly spiralled into also including animal welfare and the environment. Although this is true, it is not the complete truth. The most honest reason as to why I decided to go vegan was because I really wanted to eat again. By that I mean that I wanted to go back to eating fulfilling meals, which wouldn’t leave me hungry and desperate to eat more. Meals that wouldn’t make me feel guilty after having ‘indulged’.

For most of secondary school I hated my body. I was always the ‘fat friend’ (or so I believed), and I felt out of place. I kept wanting to make myself smaller, to shrink myself, and yet nothing worked. I have always had a huge appetite, which was probably exacerbated because of the fact that I was a competitive swimmer. If any of you have ever been swimming before, you will know just how hungry you feel after getting out of the water! Whilst I competed, I remembered always feeling like I didn’t fit in because I was simply fatter than everyone else. I couldn’t understand why either because I ate healthy(ish) food and I ate the normal quantity for someone who swam about 10 hours a week., Whilst I swam I was simply too hungry to go on any special kind of diet, however, once I stopped swimming the downfall of my relationship with food had already begun. I was 16 when I stopped exercise completely, just finishing my GSCEs. I remember feeling so uncomfortable with my body and angry at it for not behaving the way I wanted it to. The least it could do is stay the same, not gain MORE weight! The only solution I could think of at the time was restricting of calories. I started to see my food merely as numerical values, rather than taste, nutrition and fulfilment. I would often restrict my caloric intake to 1200, 1000 and when I had ‘misbehaved’ 800. If I had eaten too much that day, I would compensate by either going to the gym until I burned the calories off, or I would eat less the day after. These restrictions would last weeks, sometimes even months at a time before I would cave in. I always caved in. I was too ‘weak’ and I just couldn’t keep studying when my stomach was screaming at me to eat more. I was so hungry, and borderline depressed, that I ended up totally immersing myself in my studies, blocking out all other thoughts, emotions and feelings. This worked out great for my grades, but not so much for my mental state. Throughout my first year of A Levels, my relationship with food and exercise grew unhealthier and unhealthier, until I had finally had enough.

Beyoncé

On one of my many days searching for a new diet that might suit me better, but also allow me to lose weight, I found an article about Beyoncé and her new vegan diet. This ‘diet’ was something I had never even heard of before. This ‘diet’ claimed that I could eat as many fruits and vegetables that I wanted and I wouldn’t gain weight! I could even eat pasta, bread, potatoes…basically all my favourite foods! In fact, the ‘diet’ claimed that I may even be able to LOSE fat! At this point I was already completely hooked. So, of course, I went onto YouTube to educate myself on what being vegan really meant and whether I was actually cut out for it. I think it is important to mention at this point that I actually didn’t really like vegetables and fruits. I was a DEVOUT carnist. I loved meat and fish and cheese and eggs, and pretty much all animal products, with all my heart. I don’t think I ever went a meal without at least one animal product on my plate. I also regularly made fun of anyone who was either vegetarian or vegan. Basically, I was the last person on Planet Earth that you would ever expect to go vegan, which is probably why my parents were so cool with me going vegan. No one actually believed me, and they all laughed when I told them about the decision I had just taken. Slowly, week by week, they started to take me more seriously. Little did they know that 5 years on I would be, not only still vegan, but thriving because of it. To be totally honest, when I first started out, I didn’t know either.

First Steps

The first couple of months I noticed such a huge change in my mind and my body which meant that I knew I could never go back. I started to enjoy vegetables and really appreciate how great they make your body feel. I was so excited to relearn how to cook, what to cook and what food really meant to me. I, finally, was starting to enjoy eating again. I found such joy that I needed to tell the whole world that they should go vegan just to feel as good as I was feeling. Basically, I was your stereotypical vegan that kept on trying to educate everyone on the ‘vegan ways’. I quickly realised that no one cared and no one listens to you anyway, especially if they don’t ask for that information, so I gave that up pretty quickly. Nowadays, I find it annoying when I get questioned about pretty much every aspect of being vegan because it is almost always to try and find a way to rebuke everything I say (even when they have no clue what they are talking about). In any case, the first couple of months were absolutely revolutionary and so I kept on wanting to learn more and more. After about 6 months, I realised that veganism is about more than just what you eat, but it is about what you consume. It is a lifestyle, not just a diet and so I quickly changed my reasons to not just health, but also animal welfare and the environment. I started either selling and giving away all my leather items, and it felt so great. I also began to inform myself on the cruelty behind the animal agriculture industry, and I, obviously, went on a mini knowledge-spreading rampage again (also slowed down now). My love and compassion for animals (and sometimes humans) continued to expand and I found real joy living my new cruelty-free life. This joy was also mixed with feelings of anger, sadness and frustration because I wished I had learnt about veganism earlier. As the months went on, my focus had shifted from dieting, to truly enjoying life. I started to care for my body and I could feel my body thanking me by giving me so much energy that I had thought I had lost. I was able to eat without guilt. I was able to start exercising without feeling like I was doing it to look a certain way afterwards. My perspective had completely changed.

As the years went on…

In my first year of university I had realised that I had not completely gotten over my past insecurities and I found myself relapsing into stupid diets multiple times. I wanted to mention this because I don’t want you to think that going vegan is a quick fix to helping your body issues. I don’t want to mislead anyone into believing there ever is a quick fix to pretty much anything! Fortunately, this time I was able to catch myself slipping before I fell too hard. To cut the story short, I am in a much better place now with my body and I do think that a lot of this healing process is owed to my decision to go vegan. Since going vegan I have never thought of giving up, nor have I changed my mind. I love being vegan.

Now

I am now 5 years in, and I am loving it. I don’t even consider animal products as food anymore. I do not miss any of the foods at all, the only thing I miss is the ease of living in a carnist world as a carnist. Everything is catered to you if you are a carnist. Veganism means that you have to go out of your way to not buy certain products and it can get pretty annoying when you really liked a lipstick from a certain brand! Although it can be annoying not finding everything you want, it is totally worth it.

The beautiful sunsets in Sardinia, Italy